Alberta

Walkabout
You're So Far Away (Allie)
The Only Way
Soy Muy Caliente! Disco
Catherine Calls
Paste Eating Johnny vs Mrs. Edison
Alberta
Never Gonna Let Me Out
Regicide on My Mind
Epilogue

All words and music written by
Jake Laufer (c) 1997-2000

Alberta Alberta won't you please come home
Alberta Alberta won't you please come home
Didn't have no lovin, since you've been gone.

Ontario's the largest province, by population not by mass
I met a girl in Ottawa, but her boyfriend kicked my ass
He was 6 foot 4, 265, with buffalo for pets
Which he skinned by hand for practice, now plays center for the Jets.

Alberta, Alberta...

I met a sweet Quebecker and she let me do the deed
Thought we had something special, then she wanted to secede.
'Cuz she was from Chicoutimi, a francophonic frog
She said "maudit calvaire, anglo, I radder sleep wit dog!"

Alberta, Alberta...

In BC they mine molybdenum and copper from a pail
Which doesn't quite go all the way to explain how I ended up in that cold Vancouver jail
I met a real hot mounite, had more drinks than I could count
I saw her on her horsie, couldn't tell which one to mount!

Alberta, Alberta...

Struck out in Manitoba, shot down in Nunavut
I feel like a myopic squirrel who just can't find a nut
Took a frosty beating in every northern town
Guess I learned my lesson, PIMPS UP AND HOZERS DOWN!